According To You
by leoslady4ever
Summary: Lucy always thought having a boyfriend would be an incredible experience. Instead, it's been nothing but one joke after another, and they're all at her expense. But one man changes it all - because according to him, she's all that and a bag of chips. Birthday present for my love, nerdfightersunshine!


_This story is dedicated to my incredible friend **nerdfightersunshine** because today is her birthday! Her favorite Fairy Tail pairing of all time is BixLu, so of course, I had to write something for this fabulous pairing! Happy birthday sweets! I love you so so much!_

 _I hope this story makes you smile!_

* * *

 **According To You**

It's been two months...two whole months of feeling insignificant and small.

And that's ironic considering that most days, she feels anything but small.

No, for the most part, she feels fat...ugly.

And she's never really felt that way. At least not like this. She used to be confident and bold, and she knows why she doesn't feel that way anymore.

It's her stupid boyfriend. She's always thought having a boyfriend would make her good, happy, but the longer she's with Natsu, the more she realizes she was wrong.

Because he doesn't make her happy. In fact, he makes her anything but happy.

And maybe he doesn't mean to. Maybe he really doesn't see how he makes her feel. A part of her wonders if he's too childish to really understand the difference between a joke and a put-down. And she's tried to explain it to him, show him how much it hurts, but nothing seems to really connect with him.

And she's sick of it.

All the jokes about her weight. The cracks about her intelligence. The laughs when she suggests using her feminine wiles on jobs. It all makes her feel like shit.

She can't even remember the last time she felt beautiful. At this point, she's not even sure she knows what that feels like anymore.

And she misses it. She misses walking with her head held high and her shoulders drawn back and the appreciative looks Natsu used to give her. For whatever reason, he's changed his mind about her, and that cuts deep.

It's not even about how he looks at her. It's about how she's starting to feel about herself...because of him.

But she doesn't know what to do. She thought this was what she wanted – that he was what she wanted, but now, she's not so sure.

Especially today.

Day 1 of her period has her feeling especially uncomfortable in her skin. She can feel the anxiety crawling along her skin and draws in a deep breath to push it aside.

She hates this day with a passion. It always makes her feel so vulnerable, as if everyone around her is just waiting for her mess up. She's moody and emotional and just a hairsbreadth away from tears.

It's just a bad day, and that would be alright if Natsu hadn't just come to take her out for lunch.

Really it would have been smarter to feign illness and stay home, but she was hoping for once, he'd cheer her up instead of making things worse. Only life is rarely that kind.

His first crack comes after she orders her food. She doesn't think she's ordered much, but the joke he makes about it convinces her otherwise. She tries to tell herself that's just his way of finding out if he'll get to eat some of hers as well as his, but she can't stop her head from dropping in shame.

This of course draws his attention. "Oh c'mon, Luce. Don't be so sensitive. I was just kidding."

And he probably is, but Lucy can't help feeling his jokes are only a front for how he really feels about her.

"You're not seriously upset, are you?" he asks, laughing until he realizes she's not joining him, and then his voice changes. He huffs quietly as he flops back in his seat, "Here we go again."

And that's all it takes to force the tears from her eyes. She can already hear him calling her dramatic in her head, and she just can't hear it again.

Without another word, she stands to her feet and runs out. He follows her to the door and grabs her arm, but for once, she's angry enough to tell him to leave her alone and for once, he listens. She races away from the restaurant and the curious eyes around her. The cobblestone street blurs from her tears, and she doesn't know how far she's gone until she runs into someone.

She bounces off a solid chest and sprawls backward with a squeak of alarm only to have that same someone reach out and grab her. She's steady a moment later, but it takes another five to clear her vision enough to realize the man she's nearly mowed down is Bickslow.

Immediately, she sniffles, feeling self-conscious about her blotchy face, and drops her head. "Sorry."

"No sweat, Cosplayer," he says, his voice going quiet before starting again. "You okay?"

Lucy forces a smile for his benefit and nods. "Sure!"

He eyes her closely, his expression unconvinced. "Then why are you crying?"

"What?" she croaks, trying to laugh. "I'm not crying."

He doesn't need to know how horrible she feels. It's not his problem. She just needs to convince him that she's alright so she can go home where she can cry her eyes out without anyone seeing.

Only he doesn't seem to want to let her go.

His brow wrinkles, and before she knows what's happening, he's reaching out to touch her cheek. "Then what's this?"

His insistence should annoy her, at least frustrate her, but it does quite the opposite. It sends warmth shooting straight into her chest, and she finds herself crying anew. She can't stop, no matter how fiercely she tries to call the tears back.

She hunches over as a sob bursts from her throat, and it's not even a second later that she feels him pull her toward him. He folds her into his arms, and for the first time in so long, she feels safe.

Bickslow says nothing as she cries, just holds her tightly, and when she's done, he gives her a little squeeze. "Feel like telling what's wrong now?"

She bites her lip as emotions well up again inside her. Can she say it out loud? Can she really tell someone how unhappy she is?

Looking up at him, she realizes with no small amount of surprise that he's taken his helmet off. She finds herself captivated by his eyes, and she's suddenly aware that they're actually quite pretty when he's not trying to kill her.

It's a strange thought, some errant little idea her mind has come up with to distract herself from her problems, but she's starting to see that they're never going away. And now, here's Bickslow seeming so interested in finding out what's wrong with her.

What should she do?

There's a part of her that longs to open her mouth and tell it all. That part tells her it would be freeing, that maybe talking about it would help her figure out what to do, but another part of her is ashamed. This is her relationship, and that means it's failure is her own.

But Bickslow's eyes are so kind, and he's not pushing. He's just there, and Lucy finds herself wanting to say it. So she does.

She tells him everything – every horrible thought she's had about herself, every hurtful joke Natsu tells about her. She lets the truth spill out, and Bickslow keeps his thoughts to himself. So much so that she thinks he has nothing to say. She wonders if she's said too much, if he agrees with Natsu.

But just when she decides to walk away, he speaks. "That's bullshit, Lucy."

She draws back, hurt. "W-What?"

Did he think she's making it all up?

"You have to know all that shit is wrong." He shakes his head and lifts a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're incredible."

Lucy's eyes widen at the intensity in his voice.

"You're...fucking gorgeous," he said, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. "Any man with eyes in his head can see that. And you're funny and smart."

Her head's swimming. She doesn't know how he can say such things, how he can think such things when her own boyfriend didn't. "But-"

"But nothing. You're fucking perfect just the way you are, Cosplayer. I mean it - fucking perfect. And if Natsu doesn't see that, then he's a damn moron."

Mouth dry, Lucy struggles to speak, but what was she supposed to say? Thank you? You're crazy? "I don't..."

But he grins down at her. "You don't have a clue how fucking irresistible you are, do you?"

"W-What do you mean?"

He laughs and runs a finger down the side of her face, his touch light, just barely there. "You're damn near everything I've ever wanted in a girl."

His words bring her tears back to the forefront, and before she knows what she's doing, she's lunging at him. Her arms wind around his back, and she nestles in close. He smells so good, and the feeling she gets when he wraps his arms around her again is something she can't describe.

All she knows is she wants more of this, more of him.

She's been fighting a losing battle with Natsu, one she's only now realizing she stopped wanting to win a long time ago. Her heart has been gone for a while, and she was none the wiser. It was time to move on, to leave this part of her past behind.

She wants to move forward, and now that she knows what she doesn't want, she's finally seeing what she does. And that has everything to do with the man rubbing his wide hand in soothing circles on her back.

Pulling back, she lifts her eyes and nearly gasps at the look on his face. There's want there, desire, and so much more – so many things she hasn't seen or felt in so long, and she finds herself powerless to resist.

With a breathy inhale, she pushes forward and presses her lips to his, and for a single instant, he responds. His head slants over hers, and his hands slide up to cup her face.

It's everything a kiss should be – deep, passionate – and it is wrong on so many levels.

What she's doing is cheating. No matter what has occurred between her and Natsu, she knows she doesn't want to be this kind of woman. She needs to end things with Natsu properly before going any further with Bickslow. It just wouldn't be right any other way.

But just as she prepares herself to pull away, Bickslow does it for her.

"I can't, Lucy." He shakes his head and frowns. "Not like this."

She nods her head. She understands. "I know. I was thinking the same thing."

And suddenly, he looks uncertain, and she wonders if that's because he doesn't know what happens next. But Lucy knows wants she wants now.

"Will you wait here for me?" she asks, a plan already forming in her mind.

Bickslow's brow creases. "Um...yeah, sure."

Lucy beams up at him. "I'll be back in about 30 minutes."

She's already running when he calls out to her. "Where're you going?"

The wait is interminable for Bickslow. A minute feels more like ten, and before long, he's wondering what he's doing. Is she really coming back? And even if she does, what does it mean?

He's frustrated at himself, frustrated at her, because he already feels so much for her, and now that he's kissed her, had her in his arms, he wants more. But there's a chance that's not going to happen. Not if she decides to stay with Natsu.

He feels his blood boil at the thought of that ignorant asshole. He'd like nothing better than to beat the shit out of him for making Lucy feel so small.

It's then that he sees Lucy running toward him, and everything else fades away. Her smile is bright, her expression happy, and he can't help but think maybe it's because of him.

She arrives all of a sudden, her legs pushing her forward, and as she nears him, she throws herself into his arms. It's a scramble to catch her because he wasn't expecting that, but he latches on and grins down at her.

"Hey."

It's all he can think to say, especially when she's staring up at him like that.

And then she arches up on her tiptoes and smiles softly at him. She repeats his greeting quietly, and before Bickslow quite knows what to expect, she's kissing him again.

It takes all he has to pull back, but he does it because he has to know where things stand between her and Natsu. No matter how much he wants to be with her, he won't cross that line.

She seems to know what he's going to ask though and answers it before he can speak. "Yes. It's over."

"You told him?" he asks, feeling suddenly breathless.

"About this?" she asks, her eyes casting back down to his lips. "About us?"

Bickslow's heart skips a beat when she says "us". "Yeah."

She nods instantly, biting her lip as she glances down at his mouth again. "Mhm."

Bickslow wants nothing more than to give her what she's silently asking for, but he also doesn't want Natsu feeling like he honed in on his territory. "What'd he say?"

Lucy though is preoccupied, her attention so focused elsewhere that she barely finds the words to answer his question. "He wasn't happy."

"Well-"

Lucy cuts him off with a shake of her head and a hand sliding across his cheek. "Can we talk about this later? Or...like never?" she asks, stepping closer. "Because I really really want to kiss you."

Bickslow's grin widens at her admission, and he nods. "You got it, babe."


End file.
